Looks like those scandalous single girls days are long gone!
And now our theme is more along the lines of
DROPPING LIKE FLIES!
Exhibit A- THE BEST FRIEND
Crime: was blinded in March, dated 3 months, engaged & married in July
Punishment: exiled to frigid Alaska without shoes to babysit/teach snot-nosed-smelly-cry-baby-brats
Fine: owes me a first born for making said wedding happen in 16 DAYS and having to deal with Dicky!
Bail: a fabulous pair of shoes, a bag of purple skittles, & a mixed CD (yes we still compose those).
Exhibit B- The Elle
Crime: a never ending 2 year on & off relationship turned boyfriend for a month & now insta-fiancee.
Punishment: ex-boyfriend + secret = cupcakes (buying AND eating)
Fine: pending and dependant upon the date of alleged marriage
Bail: asap lunch date with chick-a-la-te's to discuss wedding plans.
EXHIBIT C- The Lisa
Crime: gave snowboarder dude a hundredth chance, gave into a date, and will soon be giving into a marriage proposal
Punishment: must go shopping and let Bre insert color into wardrobe
Fine: pending and dependant upon severity of wedding planning duties
Bail: another one of our infamous lunch dates at the Grub Box
Based on these 3 successful cases, the following conclusions have been deciphered:
A- to go on a blind date, one year in the making, set up by a sister
B- to stop eating carbs and become a body builder who forgives and forgets
C- to add/accept "friends" on facebook and give former ehs boys (that are still cute, have hair and not fat) a chance
None of those hypothesis' are possible, based on the following deductions:
A- I HATE blind dates and absolutely REFUSE (the last one was 4 years ago) and I'm so over my freakishly tall boy fetish.
B- I will NEVER stop eating cupcakes and skittles. Nor will I walk for 2 hours a day to be your sugar mama. And I will absolutely not forget what you may or may not have done to me!
C- I don't snowboard. I always decline boys on fb. I already tried/dated the post ehs classmates and all three of those episodes were humiliating experiences. I still relive 1/3 every Sunday.
And then there were two.
EXHIBIT NACO & BRE
Crime: being too independently fabulous for a boyfriend
Punishment: many many new shoes and mani's & pedi's
Fine: YES we are!
Bail: 2 normal male well behaved college graduates with a car, job, hair, and sense of humor.
EMAIL RESUME WITH REFERENCES & PICTURE
immediate interview for candidates with said requirements AND a 6ft.+ height able to surpass us with our 4-5 inch heels
6 comments:
Yes, you definitely want one with hair! Although, keep in mind the older they are and have hair, more likely the hair is not falling out!! hehehhe
I will be on the lookout for ya!!!
Hahahahaha!!! I love it!! This is hilarious! Good job, on all of them, they definitely are perfectly described! Hahaha! Your payment is still in the process of being created, but something else is on the way!
Dezi probably will give you her first born but then what would you do with it?
HAHAHAHAHA!
Although I must defend my "snowboarder dude". He was well worth the wait and I didn't "give in" to a date. It was more like the other way around :)
I will happily give into the proposal though!
Don't worry, at least you know I'm FAR from "another one bites the dust." AT least that fact can comfort you & your friends dropping like flies.
Bri you're hillarious!!! I wish i had some people to refer to the job of being your and my sisters "MAN" but i don't. :(
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