THE SARTORIALIST

Halloween Style-

headband-Icing, glasses- Forever 21, earrings- Boston street shop, rainbow lashes- Kmart, striped 3/4 shirt- BCBG, polo- Penguin, suspenders-thrifted, tie- DKNY, blue flower- Forever 21, skirt- Abercrombie & Fitch, gold sequin sash-Vanity, raspberry suede fringe belt- Banana Republic, tights- Express, argyle knee highs- Tommy Hilfiger, red wedges- Anne Klein, sporadic flowers- Gap, bracelets- Old Navy, Amuse.

Just in case you wanted an outfit like this.

JAZZED!

Guess what started today????

New season, new slate. The anticipation is great.

"GO GO JAZZ!" -Lexi

(and Game 1 of the World Series! LOVE IT! Yanks got spanked tonight! And that's always a good thing Dezi.)

eFFer's!

My attempt to be F-word Fabulous pumpkin cutter.

I kinda Failed at making the double F Fit tightly together.

But you Fashionista's get the jist of it.

OOOOOOOHHH!!

AAAAHHH!!

Whomever comments Fastest First on what the F's stand For will get a Freaking Fabulous prize package From yours truely. And I absolutely send FABULOUS packages via postal mail! Just ask all my postal old lady besties around the US. I'm a Frequent supporter and sender of snail mail.

WELCOME TO THE GUN SHOW

Armed and ready for some action (literally)!

Pulverized our enemy.

Our ammo.

Dead eye.

Mom, Lexi & Dora could play this game for hours.

Night night. zzzzz. ahh! wake up! Night night. zzzz. ahh! wake up!

Lexi & Dirt playing in the dirt. She isn't too fond of Kurt and calls him Dirt! haha. Every time she sees him she hits him and says "DIRT NICE"! And look at her cowboy boots! so cute!

Tony has totally integrated into the family, thus his Indian shirt!

Lexi and Wade. She calls him VVVADE while giving him mean looks!

She totally copied my Urban sunglasses! But not my Halloween sticker!

Stylin the new ear muffs.

Mags, Bwee bwee, and Lexi.

These Lil Mag Lucky Jeans have been my faithful friend for 5 years! I will wear them to shreds, as you can tell! LOVE THEM! They are my own weight watchers. They are a terrific gauge of whether I'm fat or skinny. Currently the gauge is hovering towards fat.

Oh yeah we shot guns too. Shot guns, rifles, semi-automatics, jk I don't know what it's called but those pictures weren't nearly as interesting.

SEE YA NEXT TRIP.

BUNS OF STEEL!

Incidentally, Jamey and I depleted $15 a piece for the viewing pleasure of banana hammocks, g-strings, and thongs on future skin cancer patients all night long. Each barely there ensemble ranged from shiny, glittery, velvety, and bedazzly to MORE shiny, glittery, velvety, and bedazzly.

RAWR the top five! Haha! Just in case you were wondering purple won.

And just in case you were also wondering black is Elle's ex-old-new bf. Hopefully they won't be busting out body builder babies anytime soon!

RAWR Ms. Olympia Runner Up! Haha!

Just in case you were wondering this IS a woman!

RAWR Elle! Just in case you were wondering she didn't win.

But she did win the best bootay award unanimously from the guys in front of us! Unfortunately, this was the only on stage pic I snapped because she walks too fast in those hooker heels.

But fortunately...

for Facebook to furnish my photo stealing (and stalking) abilities.

Elle looked AMAZING!! (minus her old lady fake spray tan of course)

James and I were evidently outta place in the mix of Affliction shirts and horrendously bedazzled jeans and belts! I presume most of them watch Good Things Utah for style tips.

Nonetheless, I absolutely LOVE Elle and fully support her in all her capricious endeavors! When she has a goal (or a guy for that matter) she zones in 100%! This rock star knocked off 30 pds, ate NO carbs, grinded 3-5 hrs daily at the gym (dezi get your mind out of the gutter!), walked 2 hours a day on an incline!! Between Dezi's wedding (late July) , my birthday (late August) , and the competition (October) her transformation was astounding! GOOD JOB ELLE! Go eat something!

My $15 favorites of the 4 hour night were the choreographed music/muscle poses, the blue velvet banana hammock, and most notably the THRILLER number performed by the only guy in competition WITHOUT muscles! I. DIE. So OOC! (out of control)